Nice Christian Analysis Questions

The following questions are just for yourself to answer honestly. Adapted from "No more Christian Nice Guy / No more Christian Nice Girl". Give 1 point for every True/Yes answer and count them as you go. We will not discuss this during the article but is a guideline to think before reading or even as a self-help to get out of nice-ness. If anyone likes to discuss please let me know.

This is divided into 4 parts: Life in general, Spiritual/Faith, Home/Family & Career/Work. The first questions are general for both male & females and there are some gender specific questions, please only answer the ones corresponding to your gender. Of course you can read the other part for your information.

Life in General

• Do you think it’s selfish to have your own wants and desires?
• Do you think avoiding conflict will make your life better?
• Do you hide your flaws, even from those close to you?
• Does fear often stop you from moving ahead in life?
• Does people tell you that you're too hard on yourself?
• Does you health suffers if you know someone is disappointed or angry with you (e.g., headaches, nausea, insomnia, diarrhoea, etc.) ?
• Do you smile even when you don’t like what’s happening to you, then complain or fume about it later?

Men	Women
Do you feel embarrassed when people compliment you? Are you envious when you see other men showing deep emotion? Do you think being nice will make you stand out among other men?	Will you back down rather than make waves (at work, home, or church) because you would hate to be seen as a pushy or complaining woman? Have you financially helped someone because it was too hard to say no to him/her, even though it was unwise,? Do you wish people would just figure out what you need without having to directly ask for it?

Spiritual Life

• When wondering ‘‘WWJD,’’ do you assume a gentle response? (WWJD- What Would Jesus Do)
• Do you dismiss or never discuss parts of the Bible where Jesus isn’t nice?
• Do you think conflict and anger are sins?
• Do you think that a Christian should always have a smile on his/her face.?
• Do you feel like other people are usually closer to God than you are, and like “I just can't seem to get it right spiritually”?

Men

Women

Are you the guy at church who never says no to an assignment, even if it diminishes other important aspects of your life? Do you think that being nice, observing etiquette, and knowingly allowing yourself to be used by others nevertheless leads people to salvation?

Does your family complains that you do too much at church? Would it be wrong for you, as a Christian woman, to ever question your church staff about their beliefs, choices, actions, etc.? Do you hide your flaws and struggles from other Christians, particularly other women? Would you ask for prayer for sick friends, but you won't ask for prayer for yourself, particularly about a personal issue? Does praying about your sexuality seems weird?

Family Life

• If someone gets mad at you, Do you usually apologise even if you think you've done something wrong?
• Do you probably ask too many people for their opinions before you make a decision ?
• Do you think it's better to lie to someone than to hurt his/her feelings with the truth?
• Do you feel guilty when you say no or set firm boundaries with others?
• Do you sometimes think that if people knew the real you, they wouldn't like you?

Men	Women
Do you lack leadership in your family? Are you attracted to or married to a woman who needs to be rescued? Do you think of her as ‘‘a diamond in the rough’’? Do you make your wife the emotional centre of your life? Are you unclear with your wife about your sexual desires? Do you often settle for unfulfilled sex with your wife?	Do you've gotten burned trying to help a needy person? Does your boyfriend or husband or close friend calls you names or puts you down? Do you avoid confrontations as long as possible? Are you uncomfortable discussing sex (even with your husband)?

Work Life

• Do you make less money than you know you should?
• Do you find yourself working for abusive bosses?
• Do you feel guilty for taking scheduled breaks or sick days at work?
• Do you hide your mistakes, even when the consequences are little or none?
• If given the choice, will you play it safe instead of taking a calculated risk?
• Does other people have told you that you're too soft-spoken at work?
• Do you usually volunteer to get coffee, make copies, take notes, etc., at meetings and leave the talking to others.
• Does your co-workers tend to dump their work on you?
• Is it hard for you to take credit for a well done job?
• Does the people you supervise probably think you're a bit of a pushover?
• Do you find yourself saying one thing to one person but something different to another?

Please check to see your total points fro these responses. If you have five to nine true responses, you have the early stages of Nice people syndrome! It may get worse if you don't take action now. If you answered true to ten or more questions, the Nice person problem has spread and needs immediate intervention. This article about nice Christian people will definitely will help you.

You can also read the book:

No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice Instead of Good Hurts Men, Women and Children By Paul Coughlin

OR

No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice—Instead of Good—Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends by Paul Coughlin and Jennifer D. Degler, PhD

If you received 0 points, please let me know, I'm sure we can all learn definitely from you.

to top

Page History: Last revised on 29 May 2010

© 2011 Apostolic Ministry
Contact | Privacy | Beliefs | Sitemap